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Aug. 8th, 2007

1:40 PM

Question: how does one get rid of negative energy that is ripping ones self and relationship apart

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( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

lilcougar wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)

Light a white candle that's not been burned before. chant to yourself that you're ridding yourself of negative energy, bringing in calmness and desire to be at peace. If it's a tealight you've lit, let it burn itself out. A votive - let it stay lit til you're going to bed or whatever. if you blow it out, make sure the next time you light it, you say the same things.

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merimali wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 06:09 am (UTC)

I've always been fond of smoking my house out with essential oils. Supposedly sandlewood's good for purification but I don't like the aftertaste it leaves in my mouth so I use scents I actually like and find to be relaxing and pleasant. Peppermint, Lavender or Moonflower (it's a bodyshop smell I REALLY like) are my preferences.

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little_nay wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 06:14 am (UTC)

from a different perspective ... look at your thoughts as an outsider, look for patterns of negativity which are causing you to feel such a loss of control, identify methods by which you self-sabotage yourself, work to develop strength to resist temptation to such actions and to resist outside influences which cause you such negative feelings. train yourself in new behaviour patterns to help resist.

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xsabrex wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 06:16 am (UTC)

unfortunately all things revolve around Master and are out of my control. i have to wait for him to stop this madness. but i will not be going into it

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little_nay wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC)

that's fair enough - but to protect yourself you need to look at how you can strengthen your mind and your emotions so that when the latest crisis emerges you have strategies to both deal with the crisis, and keep your head and heart cool and focussed on your goals.

his life is out of your control - but your heart and head can be partially managed by your conscious self - again, this will help you stop any self-sabotaging.

whenever i get into a mental state of agony and torture i have trained myself to ask myself "why do i feel like this?' and then to dig down further and further to expose whatinsecurities, vulnerabilities or fears are making me feel so bad.

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xsabrex wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 06:34 am (UTC)

yes but after the digging then what. i know what is wrong but i dont know how to fix myself

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little_nay wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)

the answer to "how" is really, really slowly.
when i get to the ugly reason beneath all the lies i tell myself, i do force myself to look at it and acknowledge that my motivations are less than pure. for example - jealousy. insecurity. self-doubt. being a snob. being scared.
then i look at that reason and i think about how to approach it. in the jealousy case, i tell myself to trust. and i practice trusting. in insecurity, i tell myself to have faith. and i practice that.

i used to cut myself on a daily basis. it's thinking like this that got me out of that habit. instead of going for the easy self-abuse, i started looking beneath all the excuses i had made for myself, and i started looking at the person i am. and i practice being a better person.

there are no easy fixes. it all takes practice.

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lilcougar wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)

aside from the metaphysical, my dad always said "the mind is a powerful tool". My future daughter in law asked me Saturday night how i stay so calm when things are so messed up. I explained that a few years ago, between my home life, my job, my dad dying, my son leaving for college, the doc putting me on anti-depressants (that do no good if you're not a depressive person and i'm not), I sat myself down and said "life's too short." I "dug deep" and figured out what I wanted to make ME happy. I had savings built up so I could leave the ex (who wound up leaving first), I watched all the shows the ex wouldn't let me watch, I read books, I crocheted, I played with the dogs, and I chatted online. I don't keep the apartment spotless - it's just not who I am. I found that with my faults, I still like ME. I went to see my sis in law every Sunday. When my son moved back home, I went/go every Thursday to watch him play softball.

I looked deep and found out what I like. I found out that I don't NEED a man in my life. I do, however, need my friends.

I will say that it didn't happen overnight. I'm still learning about me (years later), but I like me. :) I like/love that I have Elzen, but as you know, every relationship I've had since my divorce lasted only 3 to 4 months. There was no way I could commit to anyone.

You'll get there Rach, just believe IN yourself. Take time to know YOU. *hugs*

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little_nay wrote:

Aug. 8th, 2007 10:49 pm (UTC)

really true - my comments are all about the negative reasons this kind of energy can build up - but there is the positive side too - the learning who you really are is not all "oh i'm such a terrible person!". in fact it's also "i think i'm great when i let myself do what i want and blossom naturally!" giving ourselves freedom can be so hard - and like lil_cougar writes, it is a learned process - especially us women who want so hard to make other people's lives easier, and forget about ourselves every now and then!

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